The day before our father would have died, the Scientists cured cancer. They had a press conference from their secret lab on an Antarctic ice floe.

“We cured cancer,” they announced, then opened the floor to questions.

“How?” a reporter for a Spanish newspaper asked.

“Everyday household items,” the Scientists answered.

“Which cancer did you cure?” asked a South Korean blogger.

“All of them,” said the Scientists. “We cured all of the cancers.”